I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
