Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
