Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
