She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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