i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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