So gin and wine won't be happening again
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
