My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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