she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
