Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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