Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
