How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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