big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
