I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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