i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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