Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
