Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
