I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Non-Jews are for practice
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
