I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
