Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
