We should be called the Road Head Warriors
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize