I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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