He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
