Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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