you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
