they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
