Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
