dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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