Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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