Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
