This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I did not marry a roomba.
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