Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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