They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Send help, water and tortillas.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
