Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
