My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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