That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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