Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
