I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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