It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I party with great urgency now.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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