Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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