Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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