So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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