Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
