It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
