i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You made out with two different species that night
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
