my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
