I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
