I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
