I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
