where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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