Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
