So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
