ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
