Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
