So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
