Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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