He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize