Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
