Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
