of course. lets lasso hookers.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
