Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
